It's Friday night and the world of online losers has just gotten paid

If you log into an online dating site on a Friday during the last business hour of the day you are going to get deluged with instant messages. Being rather unemployed, I am not judging, but I wonder how those with profiles suggesting 9-5 jobs would feel if their bosses caught them attempting to scrounge up a date during their final company hour of the week.

Not everyone is looking for a Friday night date specifically though. During this witching hour, I got an IM from a past-her-prime desperado in a far-flung region of the planet called Texas wanting to “chat or just trade pictures,” and an IM from a guy who looked just like a real boy but talked just like a cyber bot. Since I’ve thus far met such a fine group of individuals through my exploits, I was wondering if the trash heap of the online dating universe was mere myth. It's not.

Trash heap aside I also yesterday afternoon set up a tentative date with a man on Jdate via the instant messaging device provided there. He offended me with his attempt to reduce me into a cultural stereotype, and alarmed me with his attempt to move me to the suburbs after we have our babies together, but he seemed exactly like the type of guy my mother would have me marry if she had her way. He was okay when informed he has her to thank for the pending pleasure of my company as I am only agreeing to the date in honor of her forthcoming credit card charge, which has thus far proven to be a great misuse of funds.

The Jdate guy comes from this dust and to this dust he would like to return