Saturday, August 28, 2010

Brooklyn has been counted, now I am back

I've got great news for lovers of my love life. My job with the Department of Commerce, U.S. Census 2010 will be ending in the near-term, giving me more time for dates, more time for their documentation, and (here is where you come in,) more blog. Congratulations to all of you.

What does this mean? Basically more gory details about my new gentleman friend and our interactions delivered here. As you may recall, I once posted daily. You have this sort of frequency to look forward to. I know you, the reader, relish gory details, and thus I apologize to you for my overt omission and over-all vagueness to-date on this particular battle front. My vagueness with regards to my current relationship can be explained in short, by said gentleman's continued attachment to a second gentlewoman, who is currently engaged in humanitarian pursuits on a different continent. One gentleman, two gentlewomen, renders neither him nor me gentle at all. Many tears over my many fears continue to be shed.

Those reading this with a stake in my integrity and/or personal happiness will be horrified by the above information. I urge you to recall what it means to be in love. Please take these intangibly expressed feelings manifested in reckless abandon into consideration before expressing your condemnation below.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Dating Tips and Wisdom of the Day:

1. Plan your break up in advance so you can be cool, calm, and collected. But -
2. - breaking up is no easy task to accomplish. Particularly if the impetus for your break up is something like "principles" and you are not a principled person. So -
3. - when you fail to stand by the principles you only thought you had, you may as well make a day of it. Go to a museum with the person you are still dating, and their ex. All the while -
4. - laugh, laugh, laugh. It feels good. So good you should know that -
5. - just inside R Bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, there is a giant fish bowl of protective measures and thoughtfully, a fish bowl of friction reduction measures as well.
6. Thanks NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene.


I always feel a looming threat that on this blog I will sound like Carrie Bradshaw if I'm not too careful. An aesthetic which I despise. (Sorry ladies, gay men and weird straight men who like Sex and the City). Please write me hate mail if this is even vaguely the case.

Monday, August 9, 2010

While I was logged off...

Let me tell you a story about a girl in love with online dating. With a smile on her face she would religiously check her dating inboxes late at night. With joy in her heart she would peruse the hotties search engine of OkCupid endlessly. Without frustration she would take impressively extensive train rides to meet men in far flung corners of Brooklyn. I was that girl. Now that love is gone as it was in real life where I found a person I like well enough to date. That my involvement with him is in a technically open relationship context, does not make my relationship with online dating any less stale. I am bored by the idea of even logging in.

What am I doing with my time instead? Probably making out with said person, going out with said person, sharing secrets with said person. All the things an online dater hopes to do with a stellar someone from cyberspace. This begs the question of why the open nature of the relationship? I will not delve into the depths of this depravity, suffice it to say, I can check whatever inboxes I want with a clean conscience, should I at some point find myself motivated.