Friday, May 28, 2010

Read a book!

Yes that's right kids. One more benefit to literacy has been discovered! How it works: take a book to a bar. Sit alone. Look absorbed. Wait. There will be two kinds of people running up to you. One kind thinks you may be sad and lonely. They tend to be annoying. The other kind attempts to engage you in discussing the content of the book. They have the potential to be okay.

A small local study conducted in Brooklyn NY proves that reading in bars will vastly improve your chances of making out with strangers. One study participant's positive results came in the form of a half-Jewish lightweight boxer who had never even heard of the word "blog."

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Falling off the hobby horse

Despite the exciting news that I won a certain essay contest and can soon be found in another more high profile online location, I have to a degree lost interest in online dating as a hobby. This is not a philosophical issue. I maintain a firm belief that internet dating, while not always fun, is always interesting. It's just that I am the type of person who eventually tires of all hobbies for a spell, no matter how fulfilling. Those who are following my long-term progress as a human may recall that in 1997 I was ready to throw in the towel on flute-tooting, but at my mother's insistence, I continued to live in the realm of band nerd-dome for at least 4 more years.

So expect more blog posts from moi. Also one thing I am immune from burning out on, is shameless self-promotion, which is nearly all what online dating is. And what more exciting an audience than that of internet strangers, which bears the promise of meetings to mutually discover whether there was truth in advertising. Not fun. Interesting.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Guess who is back?

Fear not my little chickpeas, my long absence is not an indication that I returned from the Holy Land with a husband and an attendant lack of motivation to blog. I did not even in the biblical sense, "know" anyone in the land of Israel. My time there was as barren as the Negev Desert. This is not to say there were no intrigues. I learned however several days into the journey that the objects of my intrigue had girlfriends. This was a total bummer because according to my understanding, part of my birthright as an American Jewess is to make out with a hottie whilst in Israel.

I would demand a refund but the program was free. Also I got to ride a camel.

In any case, it's back to the old fashioned Internet for dating. Stay tuned for more humiliating experiences brought to you by OkCupid.