Friday, May 28, 2010

Read a book!

Yes that's right kids. One more benefit to literacy has been discovered! How it works: take a book to a bar. Sit alone. Look absorbed. Wait. There will be two kinds of people running up to you. One kind thinks you may be sad and lonely. They tend to be annoying. The other kind attempts to engage you in discussing the content of the book. They have the potential to be okay.

A small local study conducted in Brooklyn NY proves that reading in bars will vastly improve your chances of making out with strangers. One study participant's positive results came in the form of a half-Jewish lightweight boxer who had never even heard of the word "blog."


  1. "I asked her to go to the Green Day concert; she said she'd never heard of them. How cool is that?! So I went to her room and read her diary!"

  2. nice. try bringing "the autobiography of malcolm x" sometime. an extremely-small-sample study showed that this tends to attract particularly interesting/intelligent individuals.

  3. Try taking a sports book, like Basketball for Dummies and see what kind of people that attracts.