I can't handle the truth

I have an online dating conundrum. I have outgrown the weight I claim to be in my profile. Dishonest proclamations by Internet people is an issue I've treated on here as a reprehensible, and sadly expected practice. It pains me to know that I am now no better than those dreamboats who turned out to be losers in real life. I was hoping to quickly ease my way back into honesty, but the pizza and deli sandwiches in this city have proven very delicious. I worry that editing my profile to reflect the ramifications of love for these bread and cheese concoctions is akin to throwing out the skinny clothing I long to wear along these hip streets. I won't do it. But I will study the lessons from this guy who can apparently exist in NYC and not get fat: