Wednesday, July 28, 2010

You Talkin' to Me?

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this before, but I'm going to preface the following by saying that the profiles that I write for these websites are amazing works of comedic art. So when a guy wrote me on OkCupid today who despite an obvious effort, was not particularly clever, I was, as always, indignant. His profile was a similar story. When lame comedy arrives in my inbox, I wish to say to these people, "you have the nerve to address me with this?" Well of course this is only true if the person isn't particularly hot. If someone is hot, they can be a lot more dumb.

Confused? Reference this powerful visual aid designed to deepen one's understanding of how my brain works. The blue line represents ntohing. The red line is on an exponential curve and is The Hotness Index to Dumbness Tolerated Quotient:

All in jest, all in jest. Dumbness is not hot! Spread the word kids.

Anyway I checked this lame guy's profile, to see whether I could forgive him his faults. This is when things got really bad. In one photo, he blotted out all the faces of his friends. Not sure if this was to respect their collective privacy or more a product of an instinctual knowledge that in order to mate, he will need to hide his friends, who despite their blurred out faces I could still tell were more attractive than him.

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