Wednesday, September 29, 2010


In my last post I discussed how to create an online date profile. I hope my readership got enough from that lesson to at least get started on their own path toward a rewarding lifestyle of nervous anticipation, indignity, subjection to scrutiny, awkward socialization, horror when considering what your mother would think if she could see you now, and shame in the aftermath. I feared however that the last post might have been too negative, and with its litany of dont’s it failed to take into account that with every don’t comes a do.

That being said, for my second lesson, I will delve into the difficult task of of crafting successful correspondence with fellow online daters with a list of dos.

1. Do remember that this person doesn’t actually know you. Any sense of entitlement regarding the nature of their response, and whether you will get one at all is misguided.
2. Do employ the “wink” mechanism ubiquitous on dating websites. Especially if you’ve nothing interesting to say.
3. Do try to to take a humorous tone if the mood strikes. But not if the other person lists “saving the world” in the “what I’m doing with my life” category.
4. Do be aware of how many times you’ve attempted to contact a single person. You will look like a nut case if you follow up your unheeded communications with, well, anything.
5. Do use the chat mechanism to instant message people you are into if - you are a loser with few social skills, have a sexual addiction, or are an aggressive ass wipe.
6. Do make plans to meet up early and often. Attention spans are short and the shelf life of 21st century conversation is inversely proportional to the shelf life of 21st century food.

And now for a brief video on correspondence.

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