Monday, January 25, 2010

In Vino Veritas

A customer at the coffee shop told me he tried Internet dating once; via eHarmony, he arranged a day trip with a woman to a winery. Perhaps Karma was frowning on the ambitious day-long nature of this date. When he picked her up that morning, it became clear that she had misrepresented her weight by at least fifty pounds. Not only this, she had in their online communications said she was Christian, like him, but on the date itself was suddenly a practicing Jew wanting to know if converting for her was one day inside the realm of possibility.

Was he on Candid Camera?

No one has played such tricks with me. I'll have Internet dating skeptics out there know that everyone I've gone out with has looked like their photos to a degree to which there have been no alarms and no surprises, (save for one scenario where I met an epic beard of Amish proportions that was not pictured). I have not been surprised greatly by other kinds of falsehoods either. No one has asked me to convert, no one has asked me to enjoy Dave Matthews Band, no one has harvested my kidneys.

I wonder whether anyone has been surprised or alarmed by my appearance or personality. One guy said my photos made my glasses seem much, much bigger than in actuality.(Speaking of which, I have a hankering for a radically different style of frames. Watch out world, you're going to see my face again.)

Lies or no lies, there are things not conveyed in a profile which can be hidden turnoffs, rendering match ups that sound like magic on paper untenable in real life. Fans of the Online Dater's Club have something to be thankful for - despite meeting several prospects of a potentially magical nature, I am still here at your blogging service.

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