A new frontier

The expiration date on my Match.com membership looms overhead and in anticipation of saying goodbye to the service (despite it yielding me one very good date) I have signed up for OkCupid. I have finally found the online dating service of my dreams. Its interface is extremely attractive. It’s clever, and it makes me laugh.It understands where I am coming from, and asks me intelligent questions about myself. But unfortunately I am experiencing online date profile writing fatigue. I can only inform the cyberspace public that I am an interesting person so many times before I start to find myself dull.

Despite the scant information I have thus far provided on OkCupid, a few gents have contacted me. Though none were carrying firearms in their photos, all of them had major strikes working against them. One has lived 192% as long as me, one is a friend I have known for 15% of my life merely wanting to say “hey” in a new e-fashion, and one guy bored me over the Cupid chat mechanism 100% of the time we were communicating.

Despite these setbacks, I am enjoying the literally thousands of questionnaires on the site designed to help one find their perfect match. For example, according to the "Commonly Confused Words Test" I am an “English Genius,” and their Politics Test has labeled me a socialist. Hopefully illiterate capitalists will heed this information before deliberately closing and opening the eyelids of one eye to convey a message of a sexual nature to me.

Don't even think about it Goldilockses