Thursday, January 14, 2010

Say my name, say my name (just not my online one)

I would like to make an appeal to readers out there aware of my true identity. Should you happen to see me in public with an individual you do not know, it is likely I am on a Internet date with a stranger. For obvious reasons, please refrain from using the following type of language within earshot of stranger:
  • Gosh you are such a darn good writer, I'm really enjoying your blog about online dating exploits.
  • Wow this date you blogged about earlier today looks like human trash. Just the type of person I would suspect to find on OkCupid.
  • Wow this date you blogged about earlier today is babe-a-licious. There's no way this person would have asked you out if they met you in real life.
These guys feel good about the exclusive club they are in and so can you

Speaking of such matters, tonight I attend an event I shall refer to as, Female 1 Date 1. I am going to use the shorthand F1 Date1 so as not to continually rub this in the face of parties interested in my living a lifestyle involving the one day completely natural production of small humans.

3 comments:

  1. Huh? You're going on a date with a girl?

    --Jake

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Online DateretteJanuary 15, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    I thought we had this important conversation already and you asked me if it meant I would be going on the rosie o'donell cruise.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought that was just a phase. I am at court now--jury duty. Wonder if I will get called or just sit here all day eating Snickers.
    --Jake

    ReplyDelete